02-20-2017, 06:34 PM
Canofworms, you've basically just rearranged the words in the second draft, so my thoughts on the poem haven't changed much.
I've concluded that the burning is symbolic, that you are saying "this person has ceased to exist for me" -- but as a reader, I want to know more; I want some details. Besides being horrified by the graphic language, I want to know why I should care. So no, beyond that initial horrified reaction, I don't think you're making me feel what you want me to feel.
I've concluded that the burning is symbolic, that you are saying "this person has ceased to exist for me" -- but as a reader, I want to know more; I want some details. Besides being horrified by the graphic language, I want to know why I should care. So no, beyond that initial horrified reaction, I don't think you're making me feel what you want me to feel.