First Date (revised)

[Caleb Murdock]

Oh yes, I'm looking into using other words. The line that reads "and in an instant she was gone" used to say "and she plunged backwards to her fate", so I have "fate" to work with. "Fate" can be replaced with "end", so I have "end" to work with. I think the first ten lines are well written, so I'm not going to give up on this poem. However, I can't think of a profound moral to draw from this event, and that's making it hard to finish it. I continue to like my original ending, but no one else does!

A philosophical ending like what Frost put on The Impulse is what I need.