First Date (revised)

[tectak]

Thank you, CRNDLSM.  I've tried very hard to insert more rhymes, but there are only so many that I can contrive.  "Gone" is actually rhymed with "strong", but "strong" doesn't end a line.  Line-ending rhymes are very hard for me to accomplish.

I have come up with all these alternative endings (each ending would replace the two lines after "gone").  I had to use words that end with either "gone" or "broke".  Do any of them work?

Beginning of poem:

They saw a show, they kissed; the chance
of coupling was definitely there —
but first, a drink and then a smoke
on her terrace fifteen stories in the air.
She leaned against the rail, her back
to the void, and he balked, "Is that safe?"
"Yes, I've been doing this for years!"
And she bounced a little on the rim
to show him it was strong, and it broke,
and in an instant she was gone.

Possible endings:

One wonders what she had to learn
from just the mistake of being wrong.

Senseless death is a tragedy,
but the one who suffered was the bloke.

Everyone’s sympathy goes to her,
but the one who suffered was the bloke.

Really, there's nothing more to say;
she thought she was right, but she was wrong.

Sad, but it just goes to show you:
It's better to be right than wrong.

God is not always gentle when telling us we're wrong.

Hi caleb...
A thought for you. If you cannot rhyme B with A....then change A....