Library writing
#3
(02-08-2017, 04:54 AM)JaredEggo Wrote:  Here is my first attempt at Haiku, with my very limited knowledge of the style.

In the library
Children read and still make noise
I write to be calm...
Children would not ordinarily engage in any activity to be calm, because they are .... children.
Therefore, the attempted contrast fails.
If it'd be been 'people' instead of 'children', it'd have still made sense.

But even then, it wouldn't be a haiku or any sort of poem, as it'd be all telling and no showing.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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Messages In This Thread
Library writing - by JaredEggo - 02-08-2017, 04:54 AM
RE: Library writing - by Lizzie - 02-12-2017, 12:44 PM
RE: Library writing - by Achebe - 02-12-2017, 12:50 PM



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