02-12-2017, 12:44 PM
To me, the first two lines don't connect well with the third. They're reading loudly in the library, and then the turn to your writing....I'm assuming that you're writing in the library and wishing for quiet? Or are the last two lines linked in terms of place -- the children are reading in the library and you are reading in the library, them wanting excitement and you wanting calm?
The "plot" if you will is not clear enough to me to make for a compelling read.
The "plot" if you will is not clear enough to me to make for a compelling read.