02-12-2017, 06:10 AM
The Form: The rhyme is a consistent AABCBC, however there is no consistent meter with which to match it. There is neither the hint of formal meter, accentual or syllabic verse. At times interlinear rhyme is often coupled with free verse, or a beat rhythm, but that is not the case here. Thus it leaves one with no explanation of syntactic oddities such as
"Our families do we love."
instead of
We love our families. Straight Trimetric Trochee (as families can be read as two feet it could also be dimeter Trochee) + correct syntax
The root cause of this is having read some poetry, but not having studying it, and so one tends to write it by ear as one might say.
Subject matter. Not dissimilar to several thousand more of it's type. When starting writing I wrote many of the same kind, without not quite so much of the religious, but that was simply because my leans did lean that away. My mother had several books of similar material.
On the positive side the writer exhibits the fundamentals of writing, a clearness of thought to get from point a to point a to point and the ability to use an extended metaphor.
Best to you,
and keep it up,
dale
"Our families do we love."
instead of
We love our families. Straight Trimetric Trochee (as families can be read as two feet it could also be dimeter Trochee) + correct syntax
The root cause of this is having read some poetry, but not having studying it, and so one tends to write it by ear as one might say.
Subject matter. Not dissimilar to several thousand more of it's type. When starting writing I wrote many of the same kind, without not quite so much of the religious, but that was simply because my leans did lean that away. My mother had several books of similar material.
On the positive side the writer exhibits the fundamentals of writing, a clearness of thought to get from point a to point a to point and the ability to use an extended metaphor.
Best to you,
and keep it up,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.