02-08-2017, 03:36 PM
if you don't state that you don't wish feedback, people are free to give it, or critique as they see fit.
your first line:
my mom and pa who worked so hard I always was so trying.
sorta stopped me from reading anymore. in novice i would have said watch out for bad syntax [yoda speak] .
bu, i continued and found the cliche to jar more than it should.
the only line i enjoyed was the pastor fran line.
your first line:
my mom and pa who worked so hard I always was so trying.
sorta stopped me from reading anymore. in novice i would have said watch out for bad syntax [yoda speak] .
bu, i continued and found the cliche to jar more than it should.
the only line i enjoyed was the pastor fran line.