02-02-2017, 12:10 AM
eh now, don't use arbitrary numbering systems to rate a poem! the only reason you actually do that is if you're treating it like a business -- if, to read the poem, your audience has to pay something.
anyway, i think it's quite lovely. i felt something, and when i read this before thjs was posted here i felt something, something fresh and at the same time the memory of something fresh; and it's a concrete feeling stated with some novelty, and stated as if the author actually intended to state it.
that said, it does feel like it's more than the sum of its parts, with the sum of its parts being kinda low. i don't particularly like that line y'all appreciate, in fact i don't appreciate any lines in particular -- but the clarity of the new ending, the novelty of 'disfiguring chickenpox of the soul' and the numerical section, and the bits of childhood i could really relate to (such as walking the universe in one's shoes), they all build up, all leave me with, like i said, a feeling more than the sum of the poem's parts.
anyway, i think it's quite lovely. i felt something, and when i read this before thjs was posted here i felt something, something fresh and at the same time the memory of something fresh; and it's a concrete feeling stated with some novelty, and stated as if the author actually intended to state it.
that said, it does feel like it's more than the sum of its parts, with the sum of its parts being kinda low. i don't particularly like that line y'all appreciate, in fact i don't appreciate any lines in particular -- but the clarity of the new ending, the novelty of 'disfiguring chickenpox of the soul' and the numerical section, and the bits of childhood i could really relate to (such as walking the universe in one's shoes), they all build up, all leave me with, like i said, a feeling more than the sum of the poem's parts.