Long Story

[mrweiner]

He wore a duffel coat
so did she

They looked cute
walking in Regents Park
that Autumn
in their matching green wellies

When he left her
he packed only pockets
bundled together
with toggles and loops

I really enjoy the piece overall, and feelings invoked between each stanza are stark and effective. For me -- to somewhat echo others -- the meaning is lost a little bit in not understanding the nature of the relationship of the subjects. I took it as "lovers" relationship, whereas others seem to have taken it as mother/son. Could just as easily be sister/brother if that's the case.

Of course, vagueness leaves more up for interpretation and more room for contemplation, but in this case it left me a little confused on how I was supposed interpret the feelings that were otherwise effectively invoked by the writing.

Additionally, I admittedly didn't know what was meant by "toggles and loops". After looking them up, I'm still left with feeling that there might be a better way to say "bundled together". It invoked an image of all the pockets being bundled together as one group, instead of them each being fastened closed on their own.