january

[UselessBlueprint]

snow covers my walk to school

like a nun covers cleavage. winter

is nothing new, she’s been stuck

in my head for months,

(fuck mariah carey)

the world is a numb white,

and so are my hands -

just as we forget what green

looks like, the feeling in our

skin falls frozen off the bone.

december is a cold-hearted

bitch, dolled up in ornaments,

wrapping paper, adolescent

laughter, empty wallets.

jesus celebrates his

two-thousandth odd

birthday, and it’s clear

that under all of december’s

ugly-girl make up is just

pine needles. fucking everywhere.

To be honest, this was a lot more enjoyable than I expected. Definitely something to work with here, so I would strongly advise that you take editing this piece seriously. I don't think I'll be able to do this line by line, but I'll give some tips where I can. S1 failed to make an impact; the parenthetical was particularly ineffective. S2 is empty. Achebe's comment here holds true, though I get a notable shivering feeling at the end of S2. The words themselves say very little, however. As for your opening metaphor is S3, unlike Achebe, I prefer it over a simile, but that's all I can say about it. S4 needs some rephrasing I believe, and perhaps reexamine those line breaks. They feel a little silly to me. I don't see why you would choose to put those breaks where they are.