Misfit Tears Edit #1

[MadelineAnne]

I travel down a lonesome road
and call it being one with myself. I also like this intro. I like how the beginning and ending lines are triumphant.
I let you in.  I let you see my soul. 'see my soul' is pretty cliche
Cried misfit tears on your pillow
and you still had me. 'had' is a weak verb, not specific and contains no action
I'd fall down gladly
with hopes that I will land somewhere beautiful. like this
And here I am again.
Getting lost in daytime reveries. What daytime reveries? I think you need some specificity here.
Kiss me desperately.
Tell me you feel the same way I do.
Look into my eyes and undress me. I like 'undress me' but 'look into my eyes' is cliche.
But sometimes dreams are only dreams.
Nothing more. You don't need this fragment.
So I'll pick my heart up off the floor
and keep walking.

Keep pushing yourself toward new, specific images/metaphors and you'll get there.

Cheers