Breathe

[billy]

One day I’ll inhale the air
Until it fills up my lungs (try burst instead of fills or something else)
My body in a race with the wind
Hair lost in the wind (wind needs to be used once choose where)
Surround myself around the (in or within)
Flowers that is moving swiftly (flowers that are )
All my troubles gone
One day i`ll breathe

i like the idea of wanting to smell the rose.
all in all a nice little poem. though the underlying them feels like oppression i get a sense of hope in it.

thanks for the read LB

if possible try and comment on a couple of other peoples poems now and then.