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Lenses
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12-14-2016, 03:06 AM
The edit is definitely an improvement to me, I like how you cut and cleaned it up. I think it could do with a bit more cutting of unnecessary words that detract from your imagery. The last line in particular is throwing me, it just feels too wordy.
I relish writing bad poems, if it means someday I'll write a good one.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Lenses - by MindEraser - 12-11-2016, 11:24 PM
RE: Lenses - by mv5543 - 12-12-2016, 04:09 AM
RE: Lenses - by Merrikay - 12-14-2016, 03:06 AM
RE: Lenses - by Mark Cecil - 12-14-2016, 11:40 PM
RE: Lenses - by Coquette16 - 01-03-2017, 10:19 AM
RE: Lenses - by voodoochild - 01-17-2017, 08:58 AM
RE: Lenses - by j56 - 01-20-2017, 08:35 PM
RE: Lenses - by AsianPotato - 02-07-2017, 07:16 PM
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