04-26-2010, 09:54 AM
Glad to see you trying out a variety of topics LB 
Personally I really liked your second stanza. I'd end the poem with a differect line though (you don't have to change the 'idea', you can just rephrase it)

Personally I really liked your second stanza. I'd end the poem with a differect line though (you don't have to change the 'idea', you can just rephrase it)
(04-26-2010, 08:51 AM)Loveblind Wrote: The thoughts are bottled up togetherThanks for the read.
Eagerly waiting to explode onto
A blank sheet of paper
Tempted to create something
Masterful out of
My Imaginations,
Ideas,
And the help of
Similes, hyperbole's, or even "don't need 'or even'" metaphors
If I could drown my thoughts in words
Drug my veins with it
Create rhymes in my head
That I will recite later on
Mentally ill
Whenever words
Are far from my mind
Because without words
I`m nothing
Without writing I’m lost
Writing is what I do This line seems out of place/bland compared to some of your previous great ones. You can ditch it imo
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
