12-13-2016, 10:34 AM
Change in meter question...
[quote='dukealien' pid='221425' dateline='1480781232']
Armistice Wind
On Friday last, an hour before
the sun reached its meridian
I listened indoors for the crash
of guns.everything's pretty even 8882
Policemen shoot them on this day
each year in my town’s graveyard, blanks
to symbolize an armistice ~
not peace.even informative 8882
At first no shots, just acorns falling
rattled like spent bullets on
hunched helmets as they struck my roof
and rolled. I'm jarred 9792, fitting for the slight off I feel expecting guns, and hearing the guns in the acorns.
Between, wind stirred dead leaves and limbs
to rustle, flutter, softly thunder,
warning ghost of distant drumfire
waking.after the initial jolt I'm still off but putting thing things together slowly 8982
Then louder, rushing past, that gale
blew shrill, demanding pan-pipe notes ~
trench-whistles calling men to rise
and fall.and though the syllables are back to being even 8882, what seems to be the climax of sounds erupts 'shrill whistles'
So Friday last I never heard
those guns proclaiming armistice ~
some wind had carried their reports
away.8882
I guess my question is why the meter change? I don't want to misinterpret your intentions, the edits you've made really enhanced the piece, but I think you mentioned it in a spoiler and I'm curious.
[quote='dukealien' pid='221425' dateline='1480781232']
Armistice Wind
On Friday last, an hour before
the sun reached its meridian
I listened indoors for the crash
of guns.everything's pretty even 8882
Policemen shoot them on this day
each year in my town’s graveyard, blanks
to symbolize an armistice ~
not peace.even informative 8882
At first no shots, just acorns falling
rattled like spent bullets on
hunched helmets as they struck my roof
and rolled. I'm jarred 9792, fitting for the slight off I feel expecting guns, and hearing the guns in the acorns.
Between, wind stirred dead leaves and limbs
to rustle, flutter, softly thunder,
warning ghost of distant drumfire
waking.after the initial jolt I'm still off but putting thing things together slowly 8982
Then louder, rushing past, that gale
blew shrill, demanding pan-pipe notes ~
trench-whistles calling men to rise
and fall.and though the syllables are back to being even 8882, what seems to be the climax of sounds erupts 'shrill whistles'
So Friday last I never heard
those guns proclaiming armistice ~
some wind had carried their reports
away.8882
I guess my question is why the meter change? I don't want to misinterpret your intentions, the edits you've made really enhanced the piece, but I think you mentioned it in a spoiler and I'm curious.
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches