12-12-2016, 05:16 AM
Hi! I'm a novice critic, and like your poem very much. I don't understand how the last stanza fits in with the rest of the poem.
(06-26-2016, 08:08 AM)rhymeguy Wrote:For me, the last stanza is confusing for the above reasons. Given the context of the rest of the poem, it is hard for me to judge whether the "travelers" are the "nomads" or possible future travellers to the desert. The only way it would make sense to me is if the "travellers" were the errant nomads that drank from the waters when the land was an oasis.
The hot winds of anger
blow across the frigid landscape.
Leaving only a desert
where flowers once grew.
Gone are the mighty oaks.
Gone are the gentle lilies.
Gone, the song birds
and the soaring eagles.
Deserted oasis;
poisoned waters;
parched bones
of the errant nomads.
Shimmers of promise,
mirages of hope,
proven elusive
on the arid horizon.
Travelers beware. <-- I'm assuming these are the travellers that will go to the desert in the future.
Drink not too deeply. <- I think this is a warning to future travellers to not drink the "poisoned waters".
What seems sweet to the tongue <- If the travellers were to drink the "poisoned waters", why would the water taste sweet (given that it's poisoned)?
may sour in the belly.

