12-11-2016, 11:24 PM
Hi!
I'm very new to this so I apologise if my critisism not alltogether useful.
When I first read your poem it felt strange, rhyming words at the end of the sentences, but then the last word being so different and not rhyming at all.
But after reading it a couple of times it grew on me and it fits the poem well!
The only thing that necks it for me is the first paragraph; to me the combination of 'roamed' and 'alone' feels a bit off, but it could also be because the first sentence can be divided in three sections but the second in two.
Hope this helps!
This poem really speaks to me.
I'm very new to this so I apologise if my critisism not alltogether useful.
When I first read your poem it felt strange, rhyming words at the end of the sentences, but then the last word being so different and not rhyming at all.
But after reading it a couple of times it grew on me and it fits the poem well!
The only thing that necks it for me is the first paragraph; to me the combination of 'roamed' and 'alone' feels a bit off, but it could also be because the first sentence can be divided in three sections but the second in two.
Hope this helps!
This poem really speaks to me.