Aunty Had a Stroke

[Sparkydashforth]

Thanks Achebe,

I've had some good feedback on this, and I agree that last line must go, and possibly more.
I'm going to rework it for sure.


L'chaim!

Her body slipped sideways
Stayed there

She gurgled as if she were
Reciting a love poem
Through a storm drain

Never complained
Nor did she forgive

She plowed her mind
Ahead of her wheelchair
Gray hair electrified
With aftershocks

Burning rubber all the way

The poem begins on an interesting, even arresting note. A love poem through a storm drain is original. Mi piace.
Never complained - I found this one odd. It's not banal enough to be poetic. Just sits there.
My issue is that in a poem of this sort we expect some sort of epiphany at the end, something to make you go "a-ha" but instead this comes across as just a weak attempt at some sort of irony.

On the plus side, the opening bit still has a touch of class.