12-10-2016, 07:59 AM
I wonder whether you would consider changing the title to something else. I guess your trying to be ironic by the fact its called a long story when in actual fact its short. I think it would be better you focus on the actual couple but that is just me.
There is something endearing about the first two stanzas but something sad and dubious about the last which appears to come to an abrupt end. I don't know what the overarching theme of the poem is. Is it the couple? or is it the duffel coat and its pockets?
There is something endearing about the first two stanzas but something sad and dubious about the last which appears to come to an abrupt end. I don't know what the overarching theme of the poem is. Is it the couple? or is it the duffel coat and its pockets?
Poetry is the unexpected utterance of the soul
Mark Nepo
Mark Nepo