Rhyme on a Short Skirt on Dancefloor

[billy]

you have more than one inverted pieces of syntax which forced the rhyme. excess words and any ckiche. sort these problems out and the poem will improve no end.

Rhyme on a Short Skirt on a Dancefloor
 
There are some things I’d take,
Yet far more things I won’t;
There are some things I want
Yet far more things I don’t.
Oh, but cert’nly my dear, I will promise you this;
Your dainty derriere I would passionately kiss, inverted syntax to fit the rhyme weakens it. [I would passionately kiss Your dainty derriere] use something instead of weak [this]
And your hair, soft as silk, I would gently caress
With your shoulders I’d wrestle, releasing your stress.
Now, your legs I would stroke from the hip to the toe
And I’d take your left hand; trace your palm gently, slow.
But your heart and your mind
I think I’d leave behind.
Yes, you’re fairly nice looking, but stupid.