how it begins

[Lizzie]

I meant more like lazy eye and less like lazy pig...

Omg, Deathstar -- you're funny. 

I understand now.

---

here's how it begins—

a worm in the stomach imagined
as the turbulence of green love .... something other than turbulence for me to go with the worm. Sickness? O rose thou art sick -- I thought of turbulence to play off the airplane in the last stanza, but sickness does work better. I originally had queasiness, but sickness is stronger.
of a future descending too fast..... of and of? Comma preceding line and no off here -- can I use a comma even though I'm forsaking most other punctuation? Isn't that distracting to the reader?

he lags a moment behind and then....the 'he' is confusing made me think subject of preceding lines -- I couldn't figure out what voice to write this in -- I changed my mind so many times. I think I'll go with my/you, because someone else pointed out that it seemed unnecessarily gendered.

an unreturned message or a missed
appointment and then—

are you a leaver my love? must be nice
to be the decider

must be nice
to be the winnower.....nice

must be grand
to be god and father.......so this is being thought by the woman. So the prior ''he' was the object in a way grrrrr -- Yes, it's the internal monologue. Whatever is with me and the persistent voice issues. Sorry.

when the bewilderment arrives
he'll be on a plane outbound
and the only sound his departure
will ever create is the simulated speech .... 'the only sound of leaving, simulated speech / of a etc'
of a call gone straight to voicemail

I'm a bit unclear on the story. Did he leave her? Or was she just worrying? -- It could work either way -- could be the final break between a couple or a sudden departure of one party with no warning. I'm ok with it working either way if you are.