A Small Bridge After Rain
#8
(11-23-2016, 05:40 AM)Alic Elliot Wrote:  
(11-18-2016, 07:04 AM)Sparkydashforth Wrote:  A stone bridge drips a splish A splish sounds, to put it bluntly, rather silly. 
of mossy water.
Yesterday thunderheads drummed the fells;
high moors poured down.
The village leaked a limestone light.
The river pushed swans onto grey slate steps. I'm loving this imagery (Lines 3-6)
Today, trout are back in their pools.
Newly washed sheep graze between the clouds.
The small bridge, bounds from grassy sward
to shingle strand. Very nice use of consonance here.
I lean over to watch the sky swim beneath,
while like a wet dog, the bridge
rubs itself against my knees. Well, this is a bit of an odd comparison, but I get it.
Well, Sparky, this was overall a very nice poem. The imagery was great, the sonic devices. I usually hate to sing praise of poems, I'm not a choir girl and no poem is deity-like in the slightest, but this one is actually really nice in my opinion. Kudos.

Best, Alic.

Thank you Alic!  I'm glad that despite your aversion to praising poetry you found some gold in this dross.
"Splish" is a bit silly now that I come to think of it!

L'chaim!
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Messages In This Thread
A Small Bridge After Rain - by Sparkydashforth - 11-18-2016, 07:04 AM
RE: A Small Bridge After Rain - by Lizzie - 11-18-2016, 09:06 AM
RE: A Small Bridge After Rain - by Achebe - 11-20-2016, 07:13 PM
RE: A Small Bridge After Rain - by RiverNotch - 11-23-2016, 01:18 AM
RE: A Small Bridge After Rain - by Alic Elliot - 11-23-2016, 05:40 AM
RE: A Small Bridge After Rain - by Sparkydashforth - 11-23-2016, 05:55 AM



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