how it begins

[Achebe]

here's how it begins—

a worm in the stomach imagined
as the turbulence of green love .... something other than turbulence for me to go with the worm. Sickness? O rose thou art sick
of a future descending too fast..... of and of? Comma preceding line and no off here

he lags a moment behind and then....the 'he' is confusing made me think subject of preceding lines

an unreturned message or a missed
appointment and then—

are you a leaver my love? must be nice
to be the decider

must be nice
to be the winnower.....nice

must be grand
to be god and father.......so this is being thought by the woman. So the prior ''he' was the object in a way grrrrr

when the bewilderment arrives
he'll be on a plane outbound
and the only sound his departure
will ever create is the simulated speech .... 'the only sound of leaving, simulated speech / of a etc'
of a call gone straight to voicemail

I'm a bit unclear on the story. Did he leave her? Or was she just worrying?