11-22-2016, 04:57 AM
Hi Achebe,
many thanks for this fine edit. I like your suggestions
and will do a quick fix soon.
I'm in Ohio. Yep, moths fly in cardboard boxes in the mid-west,
due to the occasional tornados.
Crazy stuff.
Cheers!
many thanks for this fine edit. I like your suggestions
and will do a quick fix soon.
I'm in Ohio. Yep, moths fly in cardboard boxes in the mid-west,
due to the occasional tornados.
Crazy stuff.
Cheers!
(11-22-2016, 04:48 AM)Achebe Wrote:(11-22-2016, 01:51 AM)Sparkydashforth Wrote: Hedgerows smell of ramshackle owls.
We who watch the watchers, peer over the dry shoulders
of mole hills and warrens. .... lovely opening lines
On broiled trails and paw paths we find azimuth ... I can't help but think that a slant rhyme in 'found' would be nice here et'paths are found'. Would modify Je line below
and declination; the connective tissue and direction 'the' unnecessary
of scurry and twitch.
Here on the arid verge we sense a greening rim. ... 'here on the arid' is clunky
Clouds shape quenching ewers.
Boxed volumes of moths scatter at the fresh scent. ....a strong image but s bit confusing, if only because I'm not really familiar with the English countryside. Are moths like butterflies there, flying all over the meadows?

