11-19-2016, 01:46 AM
Dark Waters
Heart capsized <- Can be a little confusing with he contrast in the following stanzas
No longer drifting.
Further and further away
Swims reality.
Submerged, discouraged,
Eyes blurred,
Limbs slicing, <- Limbs slicing in the sense of rowing?
Dark waters
Enticing the unclaimed depths.
Mindless pressure
Pulsing
In the mirror <- Very drastic change in imagery and scenic view
of distortion
surrounding me.
Heart capsized
No longer drifting.
Further and further away
Swims reality. <- Closing needed, progression or regression should show.
Heart capsized <- Can be a little confusing with he contrast in the following stanzas
No longer drifting.
Further and further away
Swims reality.
Submerged, discouraged,
Eyes blurred,
Limbs slicing, <- Limbs slicing in the sense of rowing?
Dark waters
Enticing the unclaimed depths.
Mindless pressure
Pulsing
In the mirror <- Very drastic change in imagery and scenic view
of distortion
surrounding me.
Heart capsized
No longer drifting.
Further and further away
Swims reality. <- Closing needed, progression or regression should show.