11-17-2016, 08:00 AM
(10-30-2016, 05:06 AM)CRNDLSM Wrote: Cool kids climbing treesThe title is cryptic...but I love the DA-DA-da-da-da rhythm of this piece. Nice!
Cool wind blows breeze
Green leaves turn to gold
Too high Johnny falls
Hits his head red stains brown
And everybody knows
Upstairs honeys
Slick skin licks lips wine tipsy
Fat man brings the gold
Making fast cash
Sheets stain black wife's at home
And everybody knows
That's the way it goes
At the races
Greyhounds pumping hungry faces
Fat man wins the gold
Three days he's been running
Streaks down tie him down
Last chance to say, "bye dad"
And everybody knows
Cool wind faces
Blowing brass dark sunglasses
Hanging on the nose
Everybody's turned to gold
Pinstripe uniforms
Getting high girls dancing
Putting on a show
And everybody knows
That's the way it goes.
Liked 'sheets stain black' - a nice surprise twist there when we'd be expecting a repeat of the 'red'.
Also liked how you move from the reflected gold of presumably tinted sunglasses to the 'turned to gold' as seen through the sunglasses.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe

