11-17-2016, 03:44 AM
(11-17-2016, 01:22 AM)Achebe Wrote: hi zorcas - this is not a line by line crit as I don't think there's enough in the poem to warrant one. Just a couple of thoughts:Got it and you're right. Still working to learn the difference between a poem and a non-poem since I see so many slices of life/personal stories which seem like slightly fancified prose.
1. The line breaks are arbitrary - they don't correspond to natural pauses when reading the poem out loud
2. The poem is admirably clear, but it's just plain speech - there's nothing that stands out to the eye or the ear. It's essentially a few long sentences arranged vertically rather than horizontally. In other words, there's nothing poetic about it. And the content is also rather simple, essentially 'don't praise the sun for bringing warmth because it's really a matter of where the earth sits in relation to it, and besides, it's not really alive.'

