entertaining

[Lizzie]

i'm quieting down
receding into the corners

unzipping my skin
allowing you in
                 i'm entertainingthis block sucked me in, like entertaining guests, but the first block makes you seem too introverted for entertaining Hi Crundalism Right. I intended to imply that the speaker is sort of packing herself into corners of herself, her psyche to make room inside for the other. I know, phrasing right?

i let you drivecliche? still nice Maybe.

i used to do everything
with myself in mind

now i sustain you
              you're my skeleton nice even Rhymes with let you in and skin. Yeah, I've got a couple rhymes going on, they're not all at the end, though. I have a lot of 'ings spaced throughout, there's drive and mind. I don't do a lot of strict rhyme, more internal rhyme (is that the same as assonance? I don't know?) and slant rhyme.

if you become me then what becomes of me?could do without this line, you are 'one' now Are we?

loving you is my way of flirting
with death I love this ending, driving can be very dangerous

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Reinstating this one because I ticked Dale off by deleting it out of a critical forum after it had been seen. Sorry to anyone else slightly to seriously annoyed with my deleting tendencies. It won't happen as much now that I know (and knowing is half the battle ).

Thanks for giving it a read and letting me know what's coming across for you. That's very helpful!