10-30-2016, 10:26 PM
This could easily dissolve into a rhyming disaster and I'm glad it doesn't. Love the "everybody knows" /and "gold" repetition....almost alliterative. Nice read.
Not sure about the title, but the poem does have that pendulum rhythm feel to it, like the walk of an elephant might. Not sure if that was intended. If so, might consider singular for the title. If not, than it doesn't matter.
Thanks 71, the elephants in the room that everyone knows about and no one talks about. 3 stanzas of 'elephants' and one of ignoring it. tried not rhyming once, almost rhymed anyways...
I like it either way.
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Not sure about the title, but the poem does have that pendulum rhythm feel to it, like the walk of an elephant might. Not sure if that was intended. If so, might consider singular for the title. If not, than it doesn't matter.
Thanks 71, the elephants in the room that everyone knows about and no one talks about. 3 stanzas of 'elephants' and one of ignoring it. tried not rhyming once, almost rhymed anyways...
I like it either way.
[/quote]
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