Yellow Evening

[CRNDLSM]

I like the way the sounds come out as I say them.  If you left the punctuation out to make me reread everything in as many different ways as I could then there you have it.  But as far as lasting effect, I see no purpose.

heart pangs
the rose-hewn sky barks
violet lightening  I like all these color changes, maybe it's not a 'yellow evening'
I'm slicing this line sounds like rap in all the 'eye' sounds going on...
details of daylight apart
in my mind like silence does
sometimes.I like these three though

tonight is ripe with refusal
in this hermitage
air is sulfurous. Yellow, 

sidewalks cohort with abstract devils paranoid?
the city dwellers yawn and screech and weep cause they're tired scared and sad?
constellations rush out to rusti like even if I don't understand it, rust is yellowish
as the Moon risesmoons are yellowish

I heed not certain thoughts.the thought you're having writing this poem? The thoughts you're not telling us?  Hermitage seems like quiet alone time, but it's sulfur, but outside is scary, so what would the night refuse? Or be refused on this night, the thought that are normally heeded?

You set up a nice setting, but I'm fairly confused