10-23-2016, 04:22 PM
Two trees aren't alike? They both got bark, have leaves, and grow in the forest???..
I think the last stanza needs some work. This appears to be a love poem of some sort, however the you will see me sounds threatening.... it makes you come out to be a creeper.
self-same ground is non-sensical. Your list... trees, stars, drops... is just that, a list. Theres no reason there, no second layer. Why not vines, comets, or snowflakes. There isn't anything unique about the random objects you've chosen to create unconnected metaphors.
it's great that the poem means something to you, but the preamble is completely worthless. Who cares if the poem means something to you. Don't ask for critique when what you really want is praise. Show it to your mom or post it on facebook.
I think the last stanza needs some work. This appears to be a love poem of some sort, however the you will see me sounds threatening.... it makes you come out to be a creeper.
self-same ground is non-sensical. Your list... trees, stars, drops... is just that, a list. Theres no reason there, no second layer. Why not vines, comets, or snowflakes. There isn't anything unique about the random objects you've chosen to create unconnected metaphors.
it's great that the poem means something to you, but the preamble is completely worthless. Who cares if the poem means something to you. Don't ask for critique when what you really want is praise. Show it to your mom or post it on facebook.