10-03-2016, 10:43 AM
Somehow, this has stuck with me. Sephorah and Nabau are the Greek forms of Zipporah and Nebo -- I went with them because I was reading a translation of the Septuagint at the time. The only "she" in the story is Sephorah, the only "you" is Moses, the only "I" is God -- the setting is God addressing Moses extra-Bibliam on Mount Horeb. I do agree that the piece is quite cold, and that eventually I'll have to work on Sephorah's point of view on this, which I think is much more powerful emotionally, but right now....
Anyway, another edit: I've removed the last two lines of the penultimate stanza, finding them too ungraceful. Also, how many times have I used that saying, "lion, hive/home of honey"?
Anyway, another edit: I've removed the last two lines of the penultimate stanza, finding them too ungraceful. Also, how many times have I used that saying, "lion, hive/home of honey"?