Brave Spectator

[just mercedes]

Hi and welcome to the Pen. I like what you're doing here, with an extended metaphor playing off against the actual scene. They're reinforced by each other. 



It is worth mentioning that I am deeply excited to see this is a community of people who appear to provide amazing and helpful feedback for each other's work. I am really quite sad I haven't found this place before now, but here's my first contribution. Thank you in advance!

It’s easy to be brave from here
Because the mountains are miles away
And I’ve never carried a pack.
 
Three days from now
I’ll crawl halfway up a rockfall
While my bravery stays behind in a grove of aspens.   For me this line flattens out the effect built up by the short lines. Maybe a line break after 'behind' would help. 
 
Above my right shoulder
The mountain has me lassoed
By a fishing-pole. I don't get the lasso/fishing-pole together

I'll claw my way up that hill—  hint of the beetle to come

A signal corps recruit, 
Or some great uncoordinated beetle This line feels a bit clunky too. Great image though. 
Looking back now and again
to find my brave spectator
Trembling in the tree line.  good hook back into the poem, and clever the 'trembling' aspens

I was stuck on the 'signal corps recruit' until I pictured a climber on a rock face, limbs splayed in positions used by signal corps to form messages with flags. Recruit, because clumsy, so untrained yet?

I enjoyed reading this, thank you for posting.