09-29-2016, 12:30 PM
Can I just say that this piece has lots of terrific visual imagery and that's what I like in a poem. So, yay for writing the way I personally enjoy 
Which is neither here nor there, but it's always good to know that your work is enjoyable.
Especially the beetle bit
I kept coming back to that bit, and I'll never look at a mountain climber the same way again. Yeah, you could probably simplify the line ala, 'an uncoordinated beetle' 'some uncoordinated beetle' but I hope that you keep the image. It works overtime.
I'm excited to see that you have a lit background. It's always nice to have people here that can give good critique like you can. Critique on, good sir or madam!
Which is neither here nor there, but it's always good to know that your work is enjoyable.Especially the beetle bit
I kept coming back to that bit, and I'll never look at a mountain climber the same way again. Yeah, you could probably simplify the line ala, 'an uncoordinated beetle' 'some uncoordinated beetle' but I hope that you keep the image. It works overtime.
I'm excited to see that you have a lit background. It's always nice to have people here that can give good critique like you can. Critique on, good sir or madam!