09-29-2016, 08:27 AM
Hi JJ. What I like most about this poem is that I can read it several different ways and it still works. It can be someone worrying about a literal mountain climb, or the mountain as a metaphor for a challenge. It can mean that the climber recognises that an 'armchair critic' has an artificial bravery as opposed to the doer, who feels fear but does it anyway. It could be that the climb itself is only wishful thinking. I find that it doesn't matter what the poem specifically means, because of its rather elegant layers.
I wonder if you'd consider changing the title, perhaps to only 'Brave'? The phrase 'brave spectator is lovely, and it would be a shame to lose its power in pointless repetition.
Also, 'some great uncoordinated beetle' is very wordy. I like the image but would prefer the phrasing to be more succinct.
Glad to have you aboard!
I wonder if you'd consider changing the title, perhaps to only 'Brave'? The phrase 'brave spectator is lovely, and it would be a shame to lose its power in pointless repetition.
Also, 'some great uncoordinated beetle' is very wordy. I like the image but would prefer the phrasing to be more succinct.
Glad to have you aboard!
It could be worse