WARNING - "never before, never again"

[nikkisto]

Before I include the poem, this poem deals with suicide, so if that or anything related to that triggers you, please do not read this.  However, feel free to message me if you want to talk or anything!  Now without further ado, this is "never before, never again"

Longer.

Just a bit longer.

Hold on.

Please.

Don’t.

Please.

Stop...

Please...

No...

...

..

.

..

...

There is no more time

There are no more chances

There will never be another

If it weren’t as bad as it seems, I would laugh.                                         

But,

Now it seems that I lost that.

The things that gave me the purpose and the strength to move on...

My sanity

My happiness

My freedom

My heart

My Self.

I have been searching for far too long.

Searching for a reason,

to keep myself going.

My facade slowly crumbles.

Now.

Now they see.

Never before.

Never again.

Never again can I hide.                                                  

Now that they see,

What do I do?

...

Isn’t that the question?

Those secrets that have been hidden within me, now flow like a river.

...

..

.

I know that I worry them.

I know that I need to change.

I know that there is help.

I know that I can do this.

I know that I should say something.

I know.

but do I really?

I know.

I know...

I wish I knew.

The ledge between me and my fate

seems to shrink every day.

My dreams all wash away in the river.

I can still see them, but with each passing day they recede more and more.

No more.

There is no more.

Hold on... I feel the current.

Longer... I need to keep going.

No... It’s not yet time.

Don’t... I don’t want this pain.

Just a bit longer... I can’t hold on.

Stop... Just let me go.

Please.

Please..

Please...

Now.

Now they see...

Never Before.

Never Again.

I think this does such good job of representing the conflict between suicidal ideation and the desire for help, and sometimes the consequences of what comes once one does reach out. It's an interesting perspective that doesn't often get spoken of. I think that the formatting of the poem though distracted me from the writing and the words. There is enough here to stand on, I don't feel like you need the dots and the one word lines. It detracts from the core of what you have, which I suppose is just to suggest more cutting as Leanne and others have also said.