09-21-2016, 01:47 AM
I feel like there are parts of the poem that get a bit confusing since you don't always continue the punctuation like you did throughout the rest of the poem. If you were to make the punctuation consistent throughout the poem, it might be a little less confusing. Also, it seems like it may add to the emotion of the poem if you tried to rhyme the endings of the first few lines where they are in love. I feel like that would give it more contrasting emotions over the poem. The idea was very unique and I really enjoyed it, just some minor tweaks to make it awesome! 