Cheaters

[kolemath]

I'll tell you what I hate 'bout meter: so this is iamb but i like it
it seems like everyone's a cheater iamb here too
with magic 'postrophies like 'ere
and ne'er and where-the-bleeping e'er i see what ppl are saying about for fun. the archaic usages only work for satire, to my reading. i can't take these usages seriously: intentional for the reader?
it makes the iambs work. Well, hell yes it does; they're all iamb
then I'll just make up language too this one starts trochee, then gets mixed up on 'make up language' make UP LANGuage (two stressed syllables next to each other)
with lazy arr'gance like you've never back to iamb
dreamed! Like a banker far behind DREAMED LIKE a BANKer (here too)
in Scrabble, I'll add th's like taxes. ANAPESTIC? 
It's effortless, 'cause poemeth after
poemeth just butchers nat'ral speech. meter is a bit muttled here to my reading
It's stucketh in my brain! Yes, I
can play that game. 

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Hello all! Can I get some feedback on the meter? I'm trying to use trochaic and Pyrrhic substitutions as well as both masculine and feminine endings. Thank you ><

sorry to only comment on meter. if you like, i can return for comments on content. good luck! thanks for sharing