09-13-2016, 06:08 AM
(09-13-2016, 05:28 AM)89layers Wrote: Hi DJ,Hi 89! Thank you so much for taking a look at my poem! It means so much for someone to take the time to read and comment on something I created.
This is a pretty poem.
I'm confused about the relevance of these lines "And dare to snare a prideful beast,
For such tendrils is no feat."
I understand it to mean that the (woman's?) beauty enraptures her admirers, but what do the tendrils refer to? Her hair? I don't know that it makes sense to me, but it might just be a lack of comprehension on my part. Also, how do the "vines" tie into the poem? Where did the vines come from?
I think the last line should be "wander..."
Very pretty, easy read, kind of reminds me of Shakespearian era poetry. The kind of poetry that speaks of unrequited love.
I would like to feel a little more inspired though. But I haven't ever studied poetry formally. I plan to do so soon. Hopefully it will add value to my critiques.
Best to you!
In regards to your comments, the "prideful beast" refers to the man the woman is trying to make fall in love with her and she attempts to do this with her looks, which is where "For such tendrils is no feat" comes in; she is so beautiful that it's easy for her to make anyone fall in love with her. I attempted to connect the woman's overall beauty to her hair, and then to "tendrils" and "vines" but I admit it might need some clarification on my part. Again, the vines were an attempt to symbolize the woman's beauty and the restraint it put on the man until another woman comes along and frees him from this captivity. You are absolutely right about wander vs. wonder though. Oops! As of now, I am taking a British Literature class at the college I attend and we are currently studying William Blake. I highly recommend his works to you as a start to your study of poetry.