The Bush

[CRNDLSM]

I wanted to critique it without the influence of previous critics so my apologies if any of this is redundant

THE BUSH

Shoot the bow
and chase after         i really like this entire first block, shoot the bow, chase your own arrow,
the arrow up
the hill and down              the hille seems small where you aim but nope, thats a mountain youll have to scale
the mountain where
your flower, Sephorah, stands --      had to pull out the dictionary.  cant find sephorah, think its a name referring to 'her'  

I heard her speak. I listened to her conspire. 
Remember, I can hear everything,
even what dreams may flower in the night.              Is she Sephorah?  this block makes me think youre God, exclaiming your power
She said she would not cut the skin,
she would not appear before you red --
no, she was too afraid of bloodshed.                         this is ominous and intriguing
I will show her bloodshed.

But I do not condemn your choice. You walk
the right path, your feet                                    but here you seem to write an entirely different poem about Exodus
being already red.
This is your destiny, Moses:                                   i love relating things to exodus, but only in my head
out of Egypt                                                           
will you carry
your mother's bones,                            reciting history 
your father's bones,
then bury them
in a hundred-silver tomb at Shechem,

right next to where the lion                              i like the wording through here and biblical imagery
should become a home for honey,
but far before the land where the lamb                   but it still seems just like another way to say what was already said 
should return to the snows of the temple.

Now don't weep. You won't                                         
taste any of it anyway. For you,                 
the waters of lake Marah                            why nabau over nebo?
or perhaps the snows atop Mount Nabau             
shall be sweet enough.                                    because i lost sight of sephorah i dont know who youre really talking to, or about

the general message seems one of hope much like most of the old testament, cant argue with that, but maybe if you show more bloodshed?