09-01-2016, 04:14 AM
(09-01-2016, 02:18 AM)rowens Wrote: The last line sounds familiar, as if it had been written before, or something very similar. If it hasn't, that's a good thing. It should have been. But it would have a lot more impact if the rest of the poem didn't sound so silly. It should sound sort of silly, but if it had a harder edge, that balance would achieve something bigger than what you have.Oh cool!
Um. How's it sound silly? Asking out of genuine want to know.