08-31-2016, 10:56 PM
Edit 2
August (Haiku)
Ironweed dust-mauve;
turquoise beaded dragonfly
stutters seeking lake.
Thanks to the excellent critics. @Achebe outvoted on condensing L2 but agree, seems best to relent on absent English capitalization and punctuation to avoid excessive ambiguity. Like @RiverNotch, captivated by 3x3 typography - but there's something to be gained with the hyphen and semicolon (hyphen needed, em-dash would have been unfortunate visual repetition though with opposite effect on the reading).
(Checked Hiroshige and Hokusai prints for inspiration: neither seems to have portrayed ironweed but their dragonflies are, of course, perfection
Non-practicing atheist
August (Haiku)
Ironweed dust-mauve;
turquoise beaded dragonfly
stutters seeking lake.
Thanks to the excellent critics. @Achebe outvoted on condensing L2 but agree, seems best to relent on absent English capitalization and punctuation to avoid excessive ambiguity. Like @RiverNotch, captivated by 3x3 typography - but there's something to be gained with the hyphen and semicolon (hyphen needed, em-dash would have been unfortunate visual repetition though with opposite effect on the reading).
(Checked Hiroshige and Hokusai prints for inspiration: neither seems to have portrayed ironweed but their dragonflies are, of course, perfection
Non-practicing atheist