I am Death-Destroyer of worlds

[Achebe]

Hi!  Thanks so much for reviewing!  The title was actually an allusion to Oppenheimer saying that the creation of the atom bomb reminded him of that quote from the Bhagavad Gita.  So I wasn't really trying to quote the Gita so much as I was trying to capture the idea of a human grasping at more power than she ever should have been allowed to have, really.  ...what's that got to do with anything in the poem? You might as well have titled it 'Rainy day in Santiago' then  It's relevant because I'm the human trying to grasp at more power than I really should have ever been allowed to have.  And I'm the speaker.  So it's entirely relevant.  Nothing in the poem hints at delusions of grandeur or an unreliable narrator. I mean, you can write a poem that goes "I am....." followed by blank spaces and claim that it's a day in the life of an Alzheimer's patient, but it would be a pretty lousy poem.

Also the idea of using a FIFA allusion to talk about a Hungarian footballer sounds awesome.  I think it's almost always fun to mix metaphors and references and stuff.  Brings new life to description. ...well, then let's be even more arbitrary. How about calling it 'Victoria Bitters after 7 o'clock on Saturdays'? Mixing metaphors makes sense if there's a point to it.  The thing is, FIFA kind of has something to do with a Hungarian footballer.  Victoria bitters, which I'm going to assume is a cocktail, has nothing to do with a poem about aspirational delusions of grandeur. ...ref point above

Also the narrator isn't time.  It's me.  ...Then it's pretty hard to make sense of anything in the poem! You created the clouds with your breath??  Well I mean Aphrodite was created from Uranus's cut-off testicles and in Chinese mythology, the Heavenly Empress created the Milky Way galaxy with her hairpin, so why can't I make the clouds with my breath?  At least I can make something approximating clouds with my breath in real life. [b]When reading mythology, we engage in a willing suspension of disbelief. Also, myths are background knowledge and when you refer to them in a poem, the reader has a context. In your poem, the reader does not. Please refer my first point[/b]

And the laughter is me laughing at Cronos begging for mercy.  And I know it's impossible for me to have created the universe.  It was just fun to write about a heady power trip. ...If you're saying that you essentially wrote nonsense because you wanted to, then pls refer my observation later on.  Lewis Carroll wrote nonsense because he wanted too.  The Jabberwocky isn't exactly the epitome of logical and sense-making poetry. You can distinguish between something that's written so as to be deliberately nonsensical, and something that's just written badly and so appears to be nonsensical, right? Jabberwocky is a clever poem in which LC uses non-existent words to create a plausible story. That's the whole point of nonsense verse - there's an internal logic that's different from our own, but internally it's consistent. Nonsense verse isn't just verse that makes no sense.

And I meant leviathan as an adjective.  It can be used as an adjective. ...can you provide me with an example of where it has been used as an adjective? Note that you are using it with the plural word 'beasts', so the singular metaphor does not work. Merriam Webster says it can be used as an adjective for something really big. And why doesn't the metaphor work. What singular metaphor? You are right. 'The leviathan state' uses 'leviathan' as an adjective, so there should be no problem, singular or plural. Disregard my comment on this one.

And I mean, I didn't really create the universe, so who's to say I can't pretend to have killed Apollo?  ...can't you have written your poem in Dothraki? If you are saying that you have the licence to write pretty much any old nonsense you're right, because it's a free country, but then why exactly are you asking people to waste their time critiquing it?
And I know there's only one, it was just also a fun concept to play with, a bunch of beautiful sun gods dying at my hand.  Also Apollo being the stand-in term for all the sun gods. ...he can't be the stand-in just because you feel like it!!! Why not? Ref point about mythology

Hi - I'm confused by your reply. It seems to me that your response is 'I wanted to write a bit of nonsense, it's okay if nothing makes sense in the poem'. Which is fine, but in that case please state it as such, and don't invite people to waste their time critiquing it.