08-30-2016, 08:43 AM
I think that the purpose of haiku is saying more in less, so I'd go for short, simple words and minimise polysyllabled ones as well as any double adjectives.
I suppose 'dragonfly' must remain, as it's important for 'August', but 'turquoise beaded'? It seems to be descriptive, but makes the line too long.
So perhaps something like:-
Ironweed dried mauve.
Blue dragonfly
stutters seeking lake
?
I suppose 'dragonfly' must remain, as it's important for 'August', but 'turquoise beaded'? It seems to be descriptive, but makes the line too long.
So perhaps something like:-
Ironweed dried mauve.
Blue dragonfly
stutters seeking lake
?
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe