Mirror Mirror

[LunaDeLore]

[Image: https://monasterydotme2.files.wordpress....002898.jpg]

Mirror, Mirror on the wall,     ----------------> I understand what you're doing in this line but beginning with an old cliche is a turn off.
Long since busted by those who can see through me, -----> you may consider dropping "can" "those who see through me" could be enough, really.
With the special vision, reserved for God, -----> this line and the next three work okay
And those who glimpse my soul,
On an all too regular basis.
 
Busted. Now the imperfections are not just a little dot or blemish, ------> "a" is what seems unsettling here. Maybe something like " not just little dots or blemishes"
In need of cleaning with some sparkly Windex or similar, -----> this line is over keel after all it does need more than cleaning
I have become unclear to myself
Unseeing what others see,
Obfuscating the obvious.
 
Busted. So what to do, now the real halo is exposed,
Reflect, pray, change. ----- is this a statement or a question?
All is possible, but this seems now a terrible,
Long look in the rear view mirror,
Which shows all which looked nice to me.
 
For what now is clear.

Hi Mike,

I was able to view the image even though tag is malformed, and I think what you're attempting to do with this piece is neat.... I hope my feedback will assist you in revision.

Luna