growth of a seed

[billy]

hi shay. struggle as i may it was too much and too hard to get too far into it. it feels like you know what you want to say but don't want me to know . this is weird but i'm getting a sexual connotation but that's all. [from the 2nd and 4th lines] wish i could give better feedback. a suggestion would be to try and be less poetic and more accessible.

She catches a glimpse through the shaded crack of dawn
rays on paramount are her veiling nectar glow what does this line mean?
which has yet to grow; amidst a dimness tamed receptacle
the beginning bud – host to the saint or satan’s damp cavern? this line works for me as a metaphor but is what i see [female parts] what is meant?
burgeoning in the cheering paradox of playful resistance
strained on the sinful; concrete florescence in a reinless appearance
sable soaked nimbus, it’s fading through impulse
and it’s hearkening her back on the pavements dull crevice
the sub-cutaneous premise - at the sight of the truth
her light is subdued, an oneiric allure encircles the cyclical gloom
of life in the new where memories lie in the soon
as duality's stalk is embossed in the strive for pursuit.