08-10-2016, 08:23 AM
I like the heavy environmental, sort of geological motif here. Though I had to look 20% of these words up to try to understand it and still wasn't sure exactly what it was saying.
"where conflict lead oil drops to confines" I don't know if I'm just hearing this wrong but there might be a grammatical issue here?
In general I enjoy an offbeat or polyrhythmic poem, but the use of so many uncommon words means the poem trips over itself a bit, at least the way I read it.
Overall the more I read it the more I find meaning in it. It feels as though it conveys the impermanence of humanity on an uncaring planet/universe. Still, I think it could use a bit more polish and accessibility.
"where conflict lead oil drops to confines" I don't know if I'm just hearing this wrong but there might be a grammatical issue here?
In general I enjoy an offbeat or polyrhythmic poem, but the use of so many uncommon words means the poem trips over itself a bit, at least the way I read it.
Overall the more I read it the more I find meaning in it. It feels as though it conveys the impermanence of humanity on an uncaring planet/universe. Still, I think it could use a bit more polish and accessibility.