Echo

[poet-rice]

Echo

Laying bare on moonlit water,
Swaying with gentle breeze.
Say, in every shell living a soul?
Nay, there's nothing but an echo.

I can see a definite idea/thematic concern here, however, at times the structure feels strained.
I think the poem would benefit from a stronger pace or rhythm to ameliorate the rigidity of
the at times incoherent syllabic movement. The Lay / Sway / Say / Nay rhyme shows good 
appreciation of assonance and adds greatly to the soft, gentle imagery but this is contradicted 
when troubled word order is employed, particularly in the third line. I look forward to the direction
of this poem being strengthened as it shows many conceptual possibilities. 

Thanks for writing,

Poet-rice