Echo

[billy]

sorry for getting here late, i'll comment on the revised version, it's much better but it would help if revisions and original poem were in the same first post for comparison. you could have played with the title echo, echo, echo. just a suggestion. in general the poem is pretty flat and pretty weak in expressing the echo. what's laying bare? the 2nd line is somewhat bland and cliche. i'm struggling to understand the third line.

Revised.

Echo

Laying bare on moonlit water,
Swaying with gentle breeze.
Say, in every shell living a soul?
Nay, there's nothing but an echo. why use nay?