He Said Six Months
#2
This one takes some interesting turns and is guilty of strong and provocative thoughts.  I'm interested in the connection between the speaker and the subjects of protest, as the speaker feels almost interested to experience the privldge of tasting blood. Not sure what the title has to do with anything, but maybe that's a regional reference to a specific quote or promise of a political leader.  

important to note that the main reason i take this as specifically political is thanks to the comment you wrote explaining that theme


(08-02-2016, 11:16 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  And here's some political commentary from, like, last month. Hopefully it ain't too dense or regional.

HE SAID SIX MONTHS

There's no point in getting mad,
only in getting bland. i really like these opening lines, maybe my favorite: their slant rhyme, cynicism, acceptance of doom
That's right -- we're all victims here,
even the cocksuckers up top who drink blood instead of spunk
out of the bendy-straw dicks we call, what, the economy? justice? the law? i don't get the image but i'm not sure that's a problem
peace? security? liberty? love ---
what do you think blood tastes like, compared to spunk? a strange intersection between the frustration with and interest in those in political power; strange is good btw
Better to wait it out -- not to hide out somewhere distant,
they are wolves -- but to weave ourselves among the lambs, ineresting connection, hiding out would probably get one caught by wolves. these lines tie thought in knots
to hope that when we get that bullet to the head inevitability  
(for these times, there's no aiming, only tallying) this line slips into obscurity i have a harder time justifying when considering the other mind benders above; i can infer that politicians don't aim, only tally. this jump took some mulling though
no one sees us fall, no one stumbles upon our bodies,
no one spits on our wounds and cries out the distance of war allows complacency 
"Murderer! Thief! Tempting Devil! Jezebel!"
as if, like Lady Macbeth, to justify their hands,
as if, like Lord Macbeth, to justify the madness. interesting shift to shakespeare; the themes of the play and your poem play together well to my reading

it's a good poem with some good lines. the sections are disjointed to me, but maybe that's what you're going for. pondering the taste of blood as a complacent  victim like macbeth, i'll take it
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Messages In This Thread
He Said Six Months - by RiverNotch - 08-02-2016, 11:16 PM
RE: He Said Six Months - by kolemath - 08-04-2016, 08:31 AM
RE: He Said Six Months - by QDeathstar - 08-04-2016, 11:20 AM
RE: He Said Six Months - by comandoartjunky - 08-13-2016, 01:47 AM
RE: He Said Six Months - by PenandPaper - 08-13-2016, 06:24 AM
RE: He Said Six Months - by RiverNotch - 08-16-2016, 11:41 AM
RE: He Said Six Months - by Tiptoethroughthetulips - 08-24-2016, 01:20 AM



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